Oh, Valentine's Day.
It somehow has a never-fail way of
striking big emotions in people, and sometimes push them to make big
decisions. February 14th has become a popular date for engagements,
break-ups, weddings, and singles parties. Being someone who speaks
openly with people about their relationships and sex lives, I see
people putting themselves through agony to be able to experience the
perfect Valentine's Day. Sometimes that means impressing a new lover,
or adding spark to a relationship/sex life that's seen better days.
Some see it as an opportunity to make up past mistakes to their
partner, or make the day extra special for someone who really
deserves it. Alternatively, I see equal anxiety in those without a
partner. They may feel the pressure to be with someone by Valentine's
Day, solely so they can go on a date or not be left out of the
activities and events put on especially for couples. Some are urged
to stay single by their circle of friends so they can band together
and support one another on a day that is strongly seen as a
couples-only holiday. And of course, this is the time for Valentine's
Grinches to surface, posting relationship-negative statuses/tweets,
or just being generally unhappy.
Do we ever stop to ask ourselves why we
do it? Why do we allow just another day with a special name attached
to it intensify our positive or negative feelings toward love, sex,
and relationships, and add extra anxiety to our lives? Why do we
fight to avoid labels being put on ourselves, but we allow a label on
a day to dictate what we buy, how we dress, and who we spend our time
with?
Don't get me wrong, I understand
feeling like you have to recognize a day that is in your face
everywhere you go, and pushed on us as a must-do by the media. I also
understand the feeling of wanting to do something nice for whoever is
special in your life. If you choose to ignore Valentine's Day, or
decide to go all out with a big gift for your lover, you're doing
everything right as long as it's what makes you happy. If you're
single and want to feel special, there's nothing wrong (in fact
there's so much right) with having a bubble bath by candle light with
your favorite wine in hand. There's no point in letting a calendar
push you around because one of those days has a pink heart drawn
around it.
So if you're feeling the pressure and
don't know how to deal, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and hit
reset. Welcome to a regular old Thursday. You might choose to cherish
someone, bang someone, embrace your friends, or revisit your
vibrator, but today is for you, just like every other. This is your
life, and the only expectations you should have to deal with are your
own. I hope that regardless of where you currently are in your life,
you'll be able to find what you're looking for today.
With that, I wish you all a very happy
(insert here) day!
Exes and ohhhs,
Lady Blue
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